Are You A Loner

10 PM
Monday Night

I almost forgot, but I was reminded in a nice way
to write a blog today.

So here it is.

Resistance loves a loner.

Because loners have limited energy.

They start out on a project, all excited about what's about to
unfold. Then, for some reason or the other, they lose their way.
And that's when resistance gangs up on the loner big time.

It's not much of a fight.

The loner is already exhausted.

One tiny tap on the head from resistance, and the loner falls
into a heap on the floor.

But this miserably one-sided bout could be avoided with the
understanding of group work.

In Africa there's a saying:

If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go with
a group. And resistance detests groups. And there are several
reasons why a group helps you get a project done with far more
efficiency and a lower failure rate:

So how do groups help?

1) Release of Pressure
2) Exponential Learning
3) Support

So with that said, now let's explain each.

it won't take long and this is a blog so we can have fun with
this.

1) Release of Pressure

The toughest part of a project is dealing with the pressure. And a
release of that pressure is needed to give you a breather. When
you rant and rave alone, it's kinda depressing.

Well at least it is for me. No one is there to listen. When you're
suffering alone, you think it's something to do with your talent,
or your genes, or the ad, or the way you wrote something, the weather,
or that you're a freakin' loser (yes, everyone feels super-lousy often
enough).

And having someone to just listen to your rant is amazing therapy.
You rant, you've been heard and now it's time to get back to work,
because you have a ton of mistakes to make, and learning to look
forward to.

If you don't believe me, ask someone, "Hey what's going on? Anything
new? How's the spouse? How's the finances?"

You'll get an ear full.

2) Exponential learning

Mistake making is frowned in our society. We love to get things
right the first time. And yet all of us know that it's impossible
to learn without making a ton of mistakes on any project, no matter
how familiar we are with the project. The problem is that
mistake-making, instructive as it is, is also terribly depressing.

When you're going round in concentric circles, your exhaustion
builds up rapidly. However when you're in a group, you learn from
someone elses mistakes, thus getting a bit of respite from the
exhaustion factor. I call it a mastermind.

When a group shares its learning and mistakes, everyone learns and
everyone gets a little samba in their steps because you're not just
learning, but it's exponential learning. You're learning from
four to five mistakes every day, and guess what? Most of those
mistakes aren't yours.

3) The third factor is just one of support

While resistance can take on a loner, it's a lot harder to take on
a group. If someone falls, there's usually someone to pick you up.
If someone is struggling, there's someone to help. If someone has
questions, there are answers that help you move along.

Working by yourself, you not only miss the ongoing support, but the
struggle wears you out.

And inevitably you give up.

Now this kind of group support doesn't necessarily work for all
kinds of projects

Sometimes the project is just to clean your desk. You could do with
ranting and group support, but it's an overkill. Besides it
probably takes under an hour to get even the messiest desk tidy.

But if this seemingly mundane desk has to go on over a longer
period of say, six to eight months, then you definitely need the
power of the group.

With a group, 75-80% make it to the finish line.

But how do you work with projects where the group doesn't have a
common goal?

Admittedly it's harder to pull off a project where everyone is
headed in different directions. When the African saying suggested
you go a lot further with a group, they were indeed suggesting the
group had a common goal.

And if everyone in the group isn't headed towards the same
deadline, or using similar tools etc., then they have nothing in
common. Then it's relatively easier for the group to be
counterproductive, as no one is learning from group-mistakes, and
everyone has their own agenda.

I know this is a little deep, but it's instructive and it'll save
you time on a lot of projects.

Here's another tip.

It's important for the group to set out a common agenda and at
least have some common guidelines.

If they're a group working on a gardening project, there needs to
be the shared learning, the shared support moments, and shared
implementation.

But don't you need the right group for things to work?

Yes, having the right group is important. But how do you choose the
right group? Groups need to be chosen primarily on the basis of
attitude.

And just as you get a great group, you can also get a lousy group.
Then whining, whingeing and depression will be constant, and
progress will be impossible.

So just having a group isn't enough.

You need to put in some filters to ensure that at least 75% (or
more) of your group will make it to the finish line. And it's a bit
of work putting a group together, but hey it's a lot less work than
starting endless projects only to see them go up in flames.

Resistance likes fires

All this namby-pamby, touchy-feely stuff makes resistance look
really bad. If prefers the loner. And most projects are done by
loners. And resistance is happy. Now it can wield it's little
finger and push you over.

And resistance laughs and walks away contentedly.

It's up to you. Some things you need to be a loner on, but then you
also need a group that supports you.

Don't take this lightly. Find a good group of people you trust and
that will help you at the drop of the hat. Oh yeah, two people
can make up a GROUP, just in case you were thinking that.

Have a great Monday, as I'm really writing a lot today. Hope it
helps, as you're part of my group.

Dr. Carney